Adventures in Grocery Shopping

Guest Post - Ryan in Washington DC -

My Mom and I talked in skype the other day.  She asked what it is I actually do for a living.  This is a question Lindsey and the kids ask all the time, "Dad, what it is you actually do".  After I explain, Simon will say, "Dad, I thought you were an architect."  Then Calvin will say, "I though you were a teacher."  Preston will add, "That sounds boring."  Lindsey will usually round out the interrogation with, "I think you are actually a secret agent" or "your father knows President Obama personally", or "he's bringing home the bacon!".  Regardless, Lindsey's comments are always very HELPFUL, to say the least, entertaining.  I have had to travel back to the states on business a few times during our time in Scotland.  Now I am in Washington DC, the 2nd of 3 trips to our nation's capital this spring.  I speak, consult, research my topic that has become a livelihood for a decade as an academic - prefabrication.  Yes, indeed, boring.  It is no warmer than Edinburgh, Scotland, in fact a bit colder, but I am digressing and rambling.

The point is, there are two things I look forward to accomplishing on my trips back to the US: 1) Spending as little time on the business trip as possible as to minimize the time away from my family; 2) Conducting the business at hand as efficiently as possible while accomplishing other work in the hotel when not performing my duties.  There is one thing that I do not mind, but do not necessarily eagerly anticipate - picking up a few "American" goods at an "American" store and hauling them back in my luggage at my family's request.  Stuff in the US is cheaper, and when you know what you want, simply easier to consume

My first trip back to the states, I went to Boston.  I could not find a grocery store nearby the hotel, so the only one I could find was by taxi, an expensive DINK grocer (dual income no kids - you know the kind).  I was wearing a suit from a meeting, a rarity in my professional life as my default is a pullover sweater and slacks (stylish I know, but it gets the job done).  I was looking the part, needless to say.  I show up at a grocery store with a list from Lindsey Joy.  Knowing that this was about to be the most inefficient trip to the grocer, I asked one of the checkers at the counter if she might point me in the direction of a few items in the store.  She got on her phone and called over the manager.  He was also dressed in a suit with cuff links, shinny black loafers and a slicked back hair smile.  I thought he looked more like a used car sales man than manager of a grocery store.  He took my list and personally escorted me through the store to gather my items.  I paid about double what I would at a "normal" grocer, probably more than I would have in Scotland at a speciality grocer - but the items where there and I did not have the heart upon the inspection of the prices while scanning the isles with the grocery sales man accompanying me to back out.  My taxi cab was also waiting, and I did not want to incur additional costs. So I bought the stuff, loaded, the taxi and it dropped me back at the hotel.  It was one of the strangest trips to the grocery store I had ever experienced - and I vowed to never go for convenience when time was in my favor, I did not have to be anywhere that evening.

This trip to Washington was not so glamorous.  Not wanting to repeat the expensive grocery store bit again, yesterday when I got to my hotel, checked the internet for nearby grocers, and found a Safeway about a mile from the hotel.  Having my list in hand I decided to hoof it. Across inhospitable traffic, in a dodgy part of eastern Virginia, I get to Safeway only to find that it does not have the items I have been sent to retrieve.  Knowing that taxi cabs do not frequent this area, and not having my wits about me from being jet lagged, I just start walking.  I remembered seeing a Target marquee high in the air and decide to head in that direction.  After walking and jogging for what seemed to be a mile or two, I realize I should have called a cab, but then my UK mobile phone does not work in in the US and I cannot seem to find a shop to call from.  By this time, it is getting really cold, I forgot my overcoat.  So in a pullover sweater I begin running to Target, hoping it is a Super-Target that sells groceries as well. 

When I finally get to Target, my face  frozen.  I did eventually find all the items, but not after having looked for an hour or more.  Luckily, Target was much closer to my hotel than Safeway, so less than a mile hike back to the hotel. I did not need to run on the treadmill in the hotel last night, and because my internal clock said to sleep around 6:00 pm eastern time, I am up now writing this at 4 am eastern.

I have learned a couple of lessons from these experiences:

1) if you have the time, and do not have a car, pay a taxi driver a bit more to go to a cheaper grocer store further away, the laws of economics are in your favor with this one; and 2) always wear your suit to the grocery store with a list in hand, someone is bound to help you.

"Dad, what do you do?"  I shop for American products and bring them home - it is the exciting part of my job.

From left to right:  American over the counter medicines, girl scout thin mint cookies, dry (not roll on UK) deoderant, HubbaBubba chewing gum (yuck), underwear, and yellow corn tortillas - yes, an hour to find this small list of goods, and 2 hours walking around Virginia to find them.