Communication

Why is it that communication is so difficult?  Lindsey and I have committed to review our schedule and budget for weeks now, but we just seem to be ships passing in the night.  Really, our lives are so chalked full of stuff.  If it is not our kids and their shenanigans, it is church callings, PTO, leaves or laundry.  This makes communication much more difficult, because when you do not have the time to communicate effectively, nuances are lost and the full measure of the message is not transmitted. Why is it that when I think that I have been perfectly clear, it is misinterpreted by the other person?  Or when someone tries to help me, I can mis read it as overbearing.

Communication is really one of the lynch pins in effective organizations, families and societies.  I dare say that the increasing problems of our government have in some measure to do with a break down in communication.  Economic recession was due to a lack of communication, either in the sender of the message or the interpreter, or both.  Candid, respectful, and meaningful communication is such a rare thing.  Most of all we need strong communication with our Father.  He expects us to be honest, open and candid.  This is the best kind of prayer in my opinion.

I have been studying a theory called the JoHari Window.  The theory states that there are 4 selfs that we communicate to others.  The open self communicates freely and openly with others. The communicators is fully aware of this self.  The second is the hidden self.  This is the portion of communication in which an individual deliberately hides a portion of themselves for self preservation or even dishonesty.  Then there is the blind self - the portion of people that others see and are aware of, but the individual is oblivious to.  Finally, there is the unknown self, which is ignorant to the individual and all others.  This comes from deep down and is often accessed in unique or alarming circumstances.

This theory is important because it suggests that we need to be willing to share more of our hidden self and make it the open self in order to increase communication and realize high performance teams.  We also should be willing to embrace that there are things we do not know about our selves that either others do recognize or do not.  An effective communicator seeks out the blind self and makes plans to reveal it in the open self when appropriate.

If you have ideas about how to effectively as a family, tools and techniques, please share here!

It is days like this past Saturday at AJ's baptism that I recognize how simple the plan really is and how well we are communicating as a family.  Then the next comes...